IV - Anedonia

from by Birkenwald

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Living by intense emotions has dragged me to total detachment.
Nowadays, I am forced to waste my days in an anguishing coma.
As far as I remember, once, even watching snow falling filled my heart.
I also used to walk through autumn colors, losing myself in their harmony.

Sadness, despair, happiness, hope, such empty words echoing in my head
Since I try to look inside me an abyss of apathy comes into view.
Joy, rage, regret, grief, so many poets dealt with their abstract nature
Without figuring out their real meaning.

Leafing through old photo-albums, covered in dust,
Not aware of what my pulses might feel.
I perceive nothing, but a strange sensation of bitterness
I get gooseflesh every time I see these pictures, but I don’t know why,

I always wake up at morning with heart palpitations and grasp for breath,
While sweat flows through my brow and all my body shivers.
I try not to look after it, persuading myself to scrape along,
As I ignore the reasons of this undefined sensation.
How long will this misery last? And What am I going to become?

The more I observe your pleased smiles, the less I feel to belong to this world.
I wander across an endless path, whose borders are made by all my lost delights.


from MDD, released June 22, 2017



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Birkenwald Bologna, Italy

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